Yup ... it is THAT time ... the time where I pull off the shade and expose my ugliest of truths.
Below, you are going to see some scary ... scary pictures. These are images that cause my insides to curl up and contract. It is so incredibly difficult to reconcile these images with myself.
Clearly, this was never how I saw myself... even in the depths of self loathing, I never looked this bad.
This one makes me laugh because of the look on my face and the sign hanging on the wall behind me. This would have been from the same year ... we're wrapping Christmas pressies ... so early to mid December.
Now for some "afters" ...
As most of you know, in November of 2010, I had a Sleeve Gastrectomy. Since having this procedure completed, I am most pleased to report that I have lost a whopping 85lbs! Not only that, but I have gained mobility, health and an overwhelming freedom to do the things I love ... most importantly ...
These were both taken last week (on the 15th, not the 14th ... that damned camera date hates me!) I was headed to work and got Hubs to snap a couple of photos. I still have 64lbs to go to get all the way down to my original goal ... but those jeans I am wearing are 16's ... and that is down from barely squeezing into a 24wide.
It's funny, you know ... I even look at these 'afters' and feel sick to my stomach. The ego is a funny little (or largely out of control) thing. I am so happy I made the decision to go forward with this life changing procedure. The weight is coming off very slowly now ... like a pound or two a week at best ... but it's still coming off.
I have changed so much in the past 5 months, it's almost scary. I booked a trip to a strange city to meet someone who, although she means the world to me - and I believe we are 'sisters from other misters', I have never met her in person before ... and this time last year it would have NEVER happened.
I guess it's true that you should never say never.
My husband is nearly bursting with pride at the ways I am changing. He told me the other day that my first goal (which is 26 more pounds) should be sufficient ... and maybe I'll stop trying to lose after that. HA! I love it! He makes comments all the time about me 'picking up another guy' while I am out. As if ... I couldn't have built myself a better life partner if I had been given the primordial goo to do it myself. But I do love that he says it. Gives me a little tickle.
I guess this brings me to the end of this post. This is a hard one for me to put out there. I'm baring all in this one ... be gentle - K?