Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Three Weeks Out

So ... I am three weeks post op today. One more week until I can begin to eat something resembling food ... eggs, soft fish, perhaps some well cooked and mashed veggies ... woot to the hoo!

I have lost a total of 38 lbs. I am NOT supposed to be weighing myself every day ... alas, I have been. I remain stuck at -38 lbs ... for the past WEEK! I am NOT impressed ... not one bit.I will point out that I have lost a total of 17 inches, though and it is quite evident that my body is undergoing some pretty big changes. Mom calls me 'the incredible shrinking woman' ... this doesn't make up for her ignoramus commentary, with which I am assaulted on a semi-regular basis, but it's something, at least.

My body is well recovered. I am able to do most everything I want (well, with the exception of eating). I have been keeping busy decorating for the holidays, cleaning the house, doing laundry and chasing after my kids. I have also been reading, and trying very hard not to allow myself to feel discouraged. I am having wicked second thoughts and doubts about what I have done to myself. (Apparently, this is common ... or so I am learning by continuing my education on this massive life style change.)

The one thing I find the most unsettling is how often I still feel hungry. I do believe that much of it comes from my brain and not from any real dietary need ... but it is bloody powerful. I am usually good until about 4:00 in the afternoon ... this begins my witching hours ... it is pretty much a continual battle of wills between myself and ... well ... myself - until I go to bed (at which point I seldom sleep very well). This is a challenge I didn't expect straight away. I figured it wouldn't be until I started eating real food again that I would be battling cravings and pseudo hunger. It blows, let me tell you.

I have not been doing the structured exercise I was supposed to be doing, though I have been very active around the house. I decided today that it would be wise to get into doing some time on the treadmill and some resistance training. I did 30 minutes on my treadmill (2 of which were jogging ... not too shabby for a fat ass like me). It actually felt surprisingly good. I must do this every day. I am supposed to be doing 60 minutes of structured, sustained exercise every day. I'm going to try to do 30 minutes with resistance bands later this afternoon. Perhaps this will kick start the pounds dropping again. I'm really only eating drinking about 700 - 800 calories per day (if that) I can't imagine why the pounds aren't flying off still. <-- it is super hard not to allow that to mess with my mind.

Anyhoosit ... I guess that is enough of an update for today. For the most part, I am full of energy and fairly happy much of the time. It is evident that the changes in my body are for the better, and THAT, after all was the ultimate goal here ... I was just hoping for the encouraging scale feedback to help fuel the desire.

Until next time, I remain ... fuckin' hungry



Jan said...

Hey there! I'm glad that your body is recovering. If only the mind was so resilient! I think you're very brave, if that helps any. This is a big undertaking and even though the pounds aren't dropping off at the moment, I'm confident you will get there. Perhaps your body is just hanging on to some pounds because it thinks you're lost in the woods and doesn't want to starve to death. Eventually it will give up and let go.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas and hang in there. This is just a blip in your life!


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